New and Improved Unhappiness Formula

Here’s how to remain unhappy for the rest of your short life.

You must look at life like it’s a chore.

See every moment as something you just have to get through. Forget the whole “life is a journey” rhetoric. We’re talking about life as one long, distended pain in the ass. Life is not experienced... it is endured.

And I know that sounds like a big shift from your current line of thinking, but trust me, it gets easier with practice.

In fact, at a certain point, it will become automatic. You won’t even have to think about it anymore. It will become your default way of interpreting life.

Even if you find yourself in okay circumstances — alive, healthy, walking on a late summer day with a fresh coffee in your hand — you can still find something to be unhappy about! Yes, you might have to look a bit harder than usual, but trust me: if you zoom in close enough, you’ll find it. Focus on the fact that your shirt doesn’t fit perfectly. That you’re one inch shorter than you’d like to be. That someone else has a hotter girlfriend.

Never lose sight of what you don’t have. You can always find a new inspiration for your unhappiness. And if you’re serious about this business, you must remain vigilant, because happiness will try to creep in on you.

One day, you’ll wake up and think: Man, I might be poor. I might be lonely. I might have failed at achieving my dreams… but hey, I’m alive.

Stop that immediately. Do not let that thought blossom. A thought like that could lay the foundation for a grateful outlook that could take years of hard work to unwind.